got home a couple days ago. last night was the first night i slept in my own bed in almost a month. fighting this ever-present feeling of disconnection, from everything i just woke up from an extremely intense time-travel nightmare tumbling about from era to era and now all this work to be done. time passes, every event happens and it is finished and it's like i have lost the ability to savor it every day is a new slate, nothing continues over. yet there is a plethora of baggage being carried around and there is a glass window between me and all of my actions i see them happening but i am not there. i am tired. i need my "self". i have no idea how to get it back. |